Each decision you make in your life is very important. Sometimes you don't always realize until later if that decision was right or wrong. My first major big decision was to quit a good paying job I had in 2008. I took early retirement from a company I had worked with for 15 years. Reason: I was wanting out of the department I was in, but was never able to get a job in another dept. I had people tell me "Brenda, you are too good of a worker and they won't let you go." I told them if that was the reason I couldn't get out then it was wrong of them to hold me back. I'm not saying that was the reason I never got out of the dept I'm just stating what some of my co-workers told me. BUT that was not the major reason I left. You would think I was old enough not to let my flesh rule but no I let it rule big time and got upset over something trivial. I wanted to go to Florida to be with my family for Christmas vacation, but they had a rule you could only carry 2 days vacation after the 15th of Dec. I tried to get them to work with me on the vacation but they wouldn't budge. I found out they were doing it for other people in the dept why not me? The big majority of the people in the dept had family in the town I live in and did not have to go out of town. OK I know this was childish but this was the last straw for me. As stated I let my flesh rule so I gave my retirement notice. I admit I did have a wonderful time in Florida! But as a look back over the past two years of my life this was a major mistake. I should have sucked it up and stayed. The job I was in was not one I enjoyed. In June of that year I came back from vacation and was called into the bosses office. I was told they were moving me from where I was, which I really enjoyed, to another one. What can you say when you're told you are being moved. I had to move. There was no if ands or buts about it, so I moved. I did not enjoy the job at all. BUT I should have stayed despite how I felt. Before I left for Florida an acquaitance told me about a receptionist job at a dr's office. I went and talked to them and they told me they would hold the job until I got back. That gave me a month to decide whether or not to take it. When I got back I decided to take it. It was something new and different and I thought it would be somthing I would enjoy. I later found out the reason I had so much problem with the dr was because he did not want his wife to hire anyone. He wanted here to remain as the receptionist, but she wanted out!
Well today marks 3 and 2/3 months since I left that job. The first month and half was great not having one but it has gotten to the point I'd much rather be working than staying at home. I've had my days of despair and depression wondering why is it taking so blasted long to find something. Could it be my age?? I'll be 57 in Oct. OR could it be that God is not through working on me? I'm not sure which it is but guess it could be a little bit of both. I know I just want to learn quickly what God has for me to learn. Could it be I need to learn to trust? I believe that is one thing during this time I am learning.
It hasn't been easy this trust issue. Maybe it's because all my life I've had a trust issue when it comes to people in authority. This was a big problem I had at the dr's office. I won't go into any detail except to say the man is an excellent dr, but he's lousy to his help. I was becoming increasingly unhappy with the work atmposhere at the dr's office especially since they had hired a new nurse, but was willing to stick it out until I had paid off some bills. The only problem was I was getting sick at least one time a week for the entire month of April. Nausea, throwing up and dizzy which usually lead to me going home. This did not make the dr nor his wife patricuarly happy. One Sunday during church service I heard God plainly say it was time to quit. I was excited and really happy about the idea of leaving the place. I did enjoy the patients, but that wasn't worth staying there. Now me being the person I am I immediately dove in and gave me resignation. I really should have asked God when to resign but didn't. I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had. I gave a months notice thinking I was being nice and that it was the right thing to do. The second day the new girl was there I was told I was no longer needed. I was unable to get unemployment due to the fact that I had turned in my resignation before they let me go. SO to say the least it has been a big faith walk these past 3 2/3 months. God has been good and provided, but I am now at the point I WANT TO WORK!! I thank God for everyone who has helped me, but I want to get back to the point where it's like it states in 1st Corinthians 9:8 "And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work." I'm ready to be sufficient in all things with the ability to pay all my own bills and also to bless others who are in need. Ok, so I'm taking this scripture slightly out of text, but my point is I want to sufficient with the ability to pay my own bills.
Today was a rough day. Anger set in! I was angry at God because I knew He was able to do something about my situation. Crazy uh? Why do we always expect Him to jump quickly for us? Why do we treat Him as if He was Santa Claus and He should give us what we want? I know I've been guilty of doing that and today was one of those times. I had to do a lot of repenting to him for my thoughts, words and anger. I've come to the decision no matter what God is still God! His time is not my time and His thoughts or not my thoughts. My part is to put Him first in my life each day and to stand on His Word no matter what it looks like. I know the enemy wants us to think God is a liar, but HE IS NOT!! Just as Solomon said in Ecclesiaties "To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven." If I lose everything, which I believe will not happen, I am still going to trust in the Lord God Jehovah!! The God that is more than enough. I want to lick this trust issue and come out as pure gold for His glory and His honor. In my new job I want to be a light that shines for Him!
I have been waiting about two weeks for an answer on the job I really wanted. It took them almost a month to start interviewing. By the time they had called me I had given up and figured they had already interviewed and hired someone. I know the lady told me they would let me know "soon" about the job, but I figured it would be within a week at least or a day or two after Labor Day. Now all I can do is pray and believe they will call me before this weekend and tell me they are offering me the job. If not I'll call them on Monday.
God bless!
No comments:
Post a Comment